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7) CASE SEVEN: A family took in relatives after a disaster event. They were previously on good terms but close living in a small space was very stress full. As the months dragged on there were a lot of negative feelings that were spoken to outsiders. The family could not resolve the issues they were having while waiting for the rebuilding of the wrecked home. In this story there was a split of the friendship between the family groups The root cause was that the relative who took in the devastated people felt overly obligated and resented the situation. In this case paying for other lodging might have been a better solution. The point here is to know what you can live with before you have no choice.

You need to consider how much help you can offer others.

8) CASE EIGHT: A family lived in a high risk zone for brush fire and mud slides. Several years of events had caused major damage to life and property in their community. It had become very difficult to have a positive attitude about pulling things back together. In this case the older children in the family did not want to deal with the situation anymore and left their parents' home to live in a safer area. The parents were upset that the family split up and were in separate locations. They could not decide if they should leave their home and move near their children. In this case the parents bought a second home in the safer location, but still lived in the first home for part of the year.

You need to consider what you will do when you and your children have different ideas about what is reasonable.

9) CASE NINE: You have become very ill. You can no longer have things arranged in your life as you did before. There must be changes to accommodate your new needs. This situation can be emotionally painful. In some families, the sick member is put in a child's home in a basement apartment. In other homes, a hospital bed is put up in a family room so everyone will be around them. There are other situations where the children cannot deal with the illness and they put the patient into a health facility for care. Sometimes a nurse is hired to care for the individual around the clock. Again there is no set of rules for what is done. 

You must consider what you believe to be a reasonable answer. If you are caught in the above situation you must know the options that you can live with.