FAMILY RESILIENCE: TRUE STORIES TO REMEMBER Part 2
4) CASE FOUR: A family had to deal with a sudden death of a loved one. In this case it had been a sudden heart attack that was not expected. But in truth it could have been a gunshot wound, or falling into a deep hole or a deadly reaction to a medication. The way it happens does not change the reality that someone is gone. This family was torn apart. Some felt guilty due to the lack of the involvement that they had had. Others felt a relief over no longer having any responsibility for the person gone. How do you deal with the sudden gap in your life? This family could not deal well with the situation, and the result was that the older members of the family left the house and the children stayed in the home. The resolution here was a very messy one since there were a lot of bad feelings all around.
You must consider how you will deal with loss. Do you pull everyone together and work as a team? Or do you need to split away from the situation for your needs? You need to clearly define how you will function if you need to be on your own due to a sudden change. You need to know who you can depend on and how much you can forgive when things go very wrong. This thought process is very difficult to do, but is very important for your future stability. What do you do?
5) CASE FIVE: A family had a major house fire. There had been a gas leak that they were not aware of. The house was lost. They had to spend money to stay in a local hotel so that their kids could stay in school. The insurance money they got was not enough to rebuild back the way that they wanted, as well as pay the taxes that were due on the property. They did not want to leave the area because of the friends that they had. Leaving their home town would be a major life change. In this case, their friends decided to offer them a no interest loan so that they could fix their house and stay.
You must consider what you can afford to do financially. Do you have savings or investments? Do you earn enough to flow across a trouble spot? If you should lose your belongings what will be the first moves you will make to remain stable? Who will you contact and how will you reach them? Are there any special needs that you must consider and plan around? Can you live with a major change? What do you do?
6) CASE SIX: A family was caught off guard on what started out as a routine day. The mother got everyone where they should be and started off to work. She never got to work because there was a car accident that involved her but was not her fault. She was one of the millions of people who find themselves in the wrong place at the wrong time. This event changed her life and that of her family. She could no longer work due to her injuries and the family economics became a major issue. In this particular case, the parents decided to sell their home and down size their life style in a different area.
You must consider what you can and cannot live without. Once you are not yourself after a trauma, people you know perceive you differently. When this happens you must decide if you can live with being treated differently or move away from the situation to have a fresh start. Will a new start be more productive for your kid's verses fighting to maintain what they used to have? This is a hard choice to make, so think about it. What do you do?